There’s no way to prepare for baby loss. Whether it’s a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or a loss after birth, it feels like your world collapses.
And as a dad, you might feel torn — needing to support your partner, hold your family together, and somehow deal with your own heartbreak.
Here’s what can help when you don’t know how to take the next step.
1. Accept that you’re grieving too
You might not have carried the baby, but you carried the hope, the plans, the dreams. That’s real grief.
It’s OK to cry, to be angry, to feel numb. None of those reactions make you weak — they make you human.
2. Take space when you need it
Grief looks different for everyone. You might need to be busy, or you might need quiet.
Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way, but try not to shut everyone out completely.
3. Talk to someone
This could be your partner, a mate, a counsellor, or a support line.
You don’t have to have the right words — you just need to start.
Charities like Tommy’s, Sands, and The Miscarriage Association all offer support specifically for dads.
4. Honour your baby
Many dads find comfort in creating a memory — a photo, a name, a keepsake box, a tree in the garden.
It’s not about moving on; it’s about finding a way to keep your baby part of your story.
5. Check in on your mental health
Grief can resurface as anger, anxiety, or depression. If you notice things getting worse — trouble sleeping, withdrawing, using alcohol to cope — reach out for help.
It’s never too late to talk.
Closing
Losing a baby doesn’t end your role as a dad.
You’re still a father — to the baby you lost, and to any you may have in the future.
Grief isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of love that has nowhere to go.
