You are halfway through breakfast when your child looks up and says, “I don’t like school.”
It might come out as a whisper or a full meltdown, but either way, it hits hard.
As a dad, your first instinct might be to fix it; to jump in with solutions or reassure them that everything is fine. But the truth is, those five words can mean a lot of different things. And understanding why your child feels that way is the first step to helping them through it.
1. Listen first, fix later
Before you offer advice or encouragement, take a moment to listen.
Sit with them, make eye contact, and let them talk without interruption. Sometimes kids do not want a solution… they just want to be heard.
Ask gentle questions like:
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“What makes school hard for you right now?”
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“Is there something that happened today that upset you?”
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“What part do you like the least?”
These open questions help your child feel safe enough to share what’s really going on, whether it’s friendship issues, schoolwork pressure, or just a bad day.
2. Stay calm (even if you are worried)
Hearing that your child dislikes school can stir up your own anxiety, but it’s important to stay calm.
Kids pick up on your emotions, and if they sense panic or frustration, they might shut down.
Keep your tone gentle and your body language relaxed.
You are showing them that it’s okay to talk about big feelings, even uncomfortable ones.
3. Look for patterns
If your child says they dislike school occasionally, it might just be a rough day. But if it becomes a regular thing, it’s worth paying closer attention.
Look for clues:
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Are they tired or anxious in the mornings?
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Do they mention the same subjects or people often?
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Are they complaining about feeling unwell before school?
These signs can point to what’s really bothering them; whether it’s workload, social pressure, or something deeper like bullying or confidence issues.
4. Work with the teacher, not against them
Teachers want your child to enjoy school as much as you do.
Reach out with curiosity, not confrontation:
“I’ve noticed my child is not enjoying school lately… have you seen anything that might be affecting them?”
Most teachers will appreciate your openness and can share insights from the classroom that you might not see at home. Working together shows your child that the adults in their life are a team, not separate sides.
5. Build confidence at home
Sometimes school becomes stressful because kids start doubting themselves.
You can help by building small moments of success outside the classroom; things like helping cook dinner, building Lego, or finishing a puzzle together.
These wins boost their confidence and remind them they are capable.
When kids feel strong and supported at home, they handle challenges at school better.
6. Keep school talk positive (but honest)
Avoid calling school boring or pointless in front of your child, even jokingly. Kids take cues from how we talk about things.
Instead, share stories from your own school days, times when you found something tricky but got through it.
This makes them see that frustration is normal, and that everyone has ups and downs with learning.
7. Know when to seek extra support
If your child’s dislike for school turns into anxiety, changes in sleep or appetite, or they start refusing to go, it might be time to get more support.
Talk to the school’s pastoral team or your GP. There’s no shame in asking for help; in fact, it shows strength and care.
Mental wellbeing is just as important as academic success.
Final thought
Every child goes through phases of frustration with school… it’s part of growing up.
What matters most is that they know they can come to you, be listened to, and feel supported.
So the next time you hear, “I don’t like school,” take a breath, ask a few gentle questions, and remind them you are on their side.
Because sometimes, the best lesson they can learn is that it’s okay to talk, and that dad is always ready to listen.
