Because the official crackers are never funny enough
Christmas crackers are a tradition.
But let’s be honest.
The jokes inside them rarely get the laugh they deserve.
So here are some fresh dad jokes you can sneak into your own crackers.
Or keep them ready for the dinner table.
Or save them for when the room needs a laugh or at least a groan.
Jokes for cracking open the cracker
-
Why did Santa go to music school
So he could improve his wrapping skills. -
What do you call a cat on Christmas Day
Sandy claws. -
Why was the snowman rummaging in the fridge
He was looking for the chilli sauce. -
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit
A crisp Cringle.
Jokes for the dinner table
-
Why was the turkey not hungry on Christmas Day
Because it was stuffed. -
What is the best Christmas present
A broken drum. You cannot beat it. -
Why did the cracker go to the doctor
It felt a little under the weather. -
What do elves use to take notes
A Christmas tree ring binder.
Jokes for after dinner sleepiness
-
What do snowmen wear on their heads
Ice caps. -
Why does Santa always carry an umbrella
Because of the rain dear. -
Why did the mince pie go to therapy
It felt crumby inside.
