We often celebrate fatherhood with clichés—strong arms, steady hands, stoic hearts. But in the latest episode of The Dadsnet Podcast, Chesney Hawkes offers a different image of fatherhood—one where strength is measured not by how well you hold it together, but by how openly you’re willing to feel.
“It’s powerful for a child to see their dad emotional,” he says. “Especially their son.”
Chesney doesn’t just talk the talk—he’s lived it. Through life’s hardest moments, from grief and loss to the quiet ache of watching his children grow up and away, he’s chosen to stay open. Not just with his kids, but with himself. And in doing so, he’s challenging a long-held generational belief: that dads should be stoic, silent, and unaffected.
“That stiff upper lip thing? Our dads had it. Our grandads definitely had it. But we need to move on from that.”
Instead, Chesney champions emotional fluency—the ability to name, express and share feelings—as a core part of raising emotionally intelligent kids. And he believes music can help where words sometimes fall short. His new album Living Arrows is filled with lyrics drawn from his own parenting journey, including songs about heartbreak, hope, and everything in between.
“There are songs on there my kids have asked me about. And I’ve had to say, ‘OK, here’s the story behind that lyric.’ Sometimes, it’s hard. But that’s kind of the point.”
It’s not about being perfect. Or always knowing the right thing to say. It’s about showing up—emotionally, consistently, and authentically. For Chesney, that means admitting when he’s struggling, showing pride without reserve, and letting his kids see the whole of him—not just the bits that are “together.”
“When I opened up to my wife after one of our hardest times, it helped her more than anything else I’d tried. Not fixing things. Just feeling them, together.”
This is the message so many dads need to hear. You don’t need to be emotionless to be a good father. You don’t need to be tough to be respected. You need to be real.
