So bad they’re good. So good they’re legally required at dinner.
Dad jokes aren’t just jokes—they’re a lifestyle.
They’re the well-timed puns, the eye-roll-inducing wordplay, the sighs of defeat followed by uncontrollable giggles. Whether you’re a seasoned pun-slinger or a rookie in the game of groans, this collection of 20 top-tier (or rock-bottom) dad jokes is certified to tickle your funny bone—and probably your family’s patience too.
Read them. Share them. Memorise them for your next barbecue. Let the shameful chuckling begin.
🥇 The First Round of Eye-Roll Royalty
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Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. -
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick. -
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know y. -
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the toilet?
Because the P is silent. -
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
🧠 Brainy(ish) Wordplay
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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down. -
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field. -
I used to be addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now. -
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint. -
I used to play piano by ear…
But now I use my hands.
🍽️ Table-Talk Terrors
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What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese. -
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know which comes first. -
I made a pun about the wind…
But it blew right over everyone’s head. -
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up. -
I used to be a baker…
But I couldn’t make enough dough.
🧢 Classic Dad Delivery
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot. -
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together. -
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory. -
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one. -
I told my dog to fetch a stick…
He came back with an existential crisis.
If your funny bone isn’t sufficiently tickled by now, don’t worry—dad jokes are like seasoning: sprinkle them often, and over time, everyone grows to love them (or just accept their fate).
