A few decades ago, if a man cried in public, it would have been seen as a weakness. If a father showed vulnerability, he may have been told to “man up.” Even now, many men grow up believing that emotions must be buried deep, especially in front of others. But as Chris Robshaw — former England rugby captain, husband, father of two, and founder of the Kerslake Robshaw Foundation — joins us in a powerful episode of The Dadsnet Podcast, it’s time we start rewriting that narrative.
Chris’s emotional honesty isn’t just refreshing — it’s powerful. His story shows that vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength. It’s a fundamental part of it. And for him, it all started with a deep personal loss.
The Loss That Shaped Him
Chris lost his father when he was just five years old. That kind of loss, at that age, doesn’t just fade away. It stays. It moulds you. It impacts your emotions, your relationships, your confidence. And for Chris, the classroom wasn’t a safe place either — he was severely dyslexic, which added another layer of daily frustration and emotional weight.
“I had a lot of anger, frustration,” he said on the podcast. “Sport became my escape.”
Football, tennis, rugby — anything to burn the energy, process the pain, and feel free. He wasn’t running toward a dream — not yet. He was running away from pain. And sport gave him the space to breathe.
From the Pitch to Parenthood
Fast forward to today, and Chris is a dad of two young boys. One’s almost four; the other just seven months. And like most dads will tell you — the transition from elite sport to sleep deprivation and nappy duty is… humbling.
But it’s also transforming.
“I wasn’t very emotional before,” he said. “But now, I cry at Disney films. I cry at books. I’m much more emotional.”
He remembers reading a book by comedian Rob Delaney on a train — a heartbreaking memoir about losing his young son — and breaking down in tears. “People were looking at me like, is this guy okay?” But he was okay. He was just feeling.
That’s not something many men of previous generations were ever encouraged to do.
The Damage of “Man Up” Culture
In his Times article, Chris talks about the grief that can surface years — even decades — after a loss. When his son turned the same age he was when his own father died, the emotions came rushing back.
And still, the cultural expectations linger:
“A few generations ago, a man wouldn’t have been seen pushing a pram, let alone crying in public. But times are changing — and for good reason.”
Chris talks about the toll of masculinity myths — especially when combined with the pressure of elite sport. He was England captain. The face of the team. Expected to be stoic, confident, unshakeable. So when the 2015 World Cup campaign didn’t go to plan — and the media coverage was brutal — he felt the full emotional weight.
“People say it doesn’t bother you. But it does. Of course it does.”
What saved him? Not ignoring the pain. But talking about it. Leaning on teammates. Opening up to people who understood.
What Strength Really Looks Like
Chris’s story is a reminder that being strong doesn’t mean being silent. True resilience comes from allowing yourself to feel, process, and then move forward.
That’s what he wants to model for his sons — and for the young athletes he mentors.
“Resilience isn’t built by reading about it. It’s built by going through things. You get knocked down — and you choose to stand up again.”
That applies to sport. But it applies to life even more.
Teaching Our Boys to Feel
Chris also shares what it’s like to parent a child with dyslexia — just like he had. Something as simple as copying a sentence from the board can be a daily struggle. But that struggle is building quiet strength. It’s not just about reading — it’s about resilience.
And it’s about giving your child space to feel what they need to feel — without shame. Without judgment. Without hearing “man up.”
“It’s hard. But those moments shape you. They prepare you.”
We often forget: our children learn how to handle their emotions by watching us handle ours.
So, Why Should Men Cry?
Because pain needs a release. Because sadness needs a name. Because being emotionally intelligent is not a liability — it’s an asset.
Our partners, our children, and our friends need to see that it’s okay to be honest. To be open. To cry.
“The more we normalise men expressing emotion, the stronger our communities become.”
Chris isn’t saying you need to cry every day. But he’s saying it shouldn’t be taboo. It shouldn’t feel like failure. It should feel like… being human.
Listen to More of Chris’s full conversation on The Dadsnet Podcast, as he dives deep into parenting, partnership, mental health, and the emotional rollercoaster of modern masculinity.
🎧 Click here to listen to the full episode
It’s one of the most honest and moving conversations we’ve had — and a powerful reminder that dads feel deeply too.
Let’s lead by example. Let’s raise emotionally strong kids. Let’s cry — and not be afraid to.
