You simply cannot beat a good dad joke. They’re fantastically awful; but, as hard to stomach as they are, dad jokes have a certain place in this world that no-one can question. Here are 45 of my favourite car puns and dad jokes to help you get through the next few hours of the day :)
- What happens when Kermit the Frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad.
- Why is Miss Piggy such a bad driver? Because all she does is hog the road.
- What kind of vehicle does a chicken drive? A coop.
- Why can’t motorcycles do push-ups? Because they’re always two-tired.
- Kids, I bought the cat a new car.
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It’s a Cat-illac. - What type of car does the dog hate? A Cor-Vet.
- If Yoda owned a business, I bet it’d be a…Toy Yoda Dealership.
- Did you know that Teslas come with a unique “new car” smell? They call it “Elon Musk.”
- I heard Gordon Ramsey drives a cool car. Must be a Chef-rolet.
- What’s got four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
- I accidentally drove my Subaru Outback into the river. Now it’s a Scuba-ru.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? “Turn your head while I’m changing!”
- Uncle Buck lost his left arm and leg in a terrible car accident. He’s all right now.
- Where do canines park their cars? In the barking lot.
- My wife said I’d never be able to afford a car by selling Chef Boyardee. You should have seen her expression when I drove pasta.
- What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.
- What kind of vehicle does Skeletor drive? A Zam-bone-i.
- Two French cheese trucks just crashed! Looks like there’s da’ brie everywhere.
- My car’s favorite meal of the day is…Brake-fast.
- Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive? Because he wanted to go for a spin.
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- What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
- Did you know all cars have snakes? They’re called windshield vipers.
- When is a vehicle not a vehicle? Once it turns into a driveway.
- Did you read about the scientist who bred a Mustang with an elephant? Now he’s got a convertible with a giant trunk.
- Did you hear what Sir Mix-A-Lot named his car? Anna Honda.
- Did you hear the University of Phoenix offers a program for used car salespeople? Now you can major in car-deal-ology.
- I had a nightmare last night that someone hit me with a car muffler. I woke up absolutely exhausted.
- What do you call a vampire who has the power to lift a car? Count Jackula
- An ice cream truck almost crushed me today. I was udderly terrified.
- Rumor has it that Dyson is going to develop an electric car by 2025. I bet it’ll really suck.
- What happens to cars when they turn 13 years old? They have a car-mitzvah.
- I really need to get my car fixed. What body shop to you wreck-amend?
- An electric car hit a cyclist the other day. It got arrested for assault with a battery.
- What kind of vehicle does an egg drive? A Yolks-wagen.
- You know what really grinds my gears? Clutch failure.
- Did you hear Kansas City has a new drive-through Greek restaurant? It’s called Lamb-Burger-ini.
- What do you get when you crash a cement truck into a bus full of convicts? A bunch of hardened criminals.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the DMV? Don’t worry, he woke up in time to take his driving test.
- What’s the best pickup line? Probably Chevy’s.
- When I was a kid, your Uncle John used to put me in a tire and roll me down a hill. Ah, those were the Goodyears.
- I ordered that new auto part for you. It’s Honda way.
- If I owned a DeLorean…I’d probably only drive it from time to time.
- Wish I could park my dead car in the garage. Too bad there’s just not enough vroom.
- You should get a job at a transmission repair shop. I’m sure you’ll get used to the early-morning shifts.
- Did you know it’s against the law to own an electric vehicle in Africa? They only allow Mada-Gas-Cars.
You are welcome. If you have a car-themed pun or joke that would make dads proud, drop a comment or find us on social media :)
