Becoming a new father can be an overwhelming experience. Overnight, you become responsible for a tiny human being who relies on you for everything; food, sleep, pooping, their basic functions and then emotional regulation too. It is a lot! Below Heidi (parent coach and baby sleep expert) shares her top tips on how best to calm and settle your baby in those challenging moments.
- Bring the calm
Whilst this doesn’t come naturally to many of us, when your baby is crying and kicking off, you being their anchor and staying calm is one of the very best ways of helping your baby to regulate. It will feel like chaos and it is easy to start to panic, but you are all they need in those moments. Try deep breaths and staying as grounded and as regulated as you can. Whilst you hold baby, they can feel your heartbeat and breathing rate, so slowing those down and keeping cool in even the toughest moments is only going to help your baby.
- Understand Sleep
Your baby is born with a reliance on you to help them sleep. They don’t necessarily just drop off to sleep when they are tired, in fact if you wait for that moment, at the very beginning it might never happen. A basic understanding of sleep is always useful, for example understanding how long baby can be awake for (awake windows) before becoming overtired. For a 3 month old, this is around 90 minutes – not long at all! Try settling baby to sleep by carrying, rocking or holding them around this point and you will hopefully see success.
- Happy Tummy, Happy Baby
Babies are born with sensitive digestive systems, including a gut microbiome that for some babies can struggle for the first few months. This might look like a baby who has wind, struggles to pass gas, is bloated or cries a lot. If you are having trouble settling your baby often, it may be worth considering a probiotic like Biogaia which is scientifically proven to reduce the number of crying hours by creating a friendly, happier gut microbiome.
- Pass the Baton
Having a baby who is unsettled or cries often can be really challenging, particularly for one parent to deal with on their own. If you find yourself becoming frustrated or finding it hard, communicate this with your partner and take a break. It is ok to find it hard. It feels hard because it is hard! Finding your feet and giving yourself compassion for this huge life change is key in the early months.
- This too shall pass
You may be familiar with the phrase “this too shall pass” as this saying is never more powerful than when it comes to parenthood. Your little one will go through all sorts of stages in their early years; feeding, sleeping and beyond. Whilst it is extremely tough in the moment, remember that the more challenging periods will be distant memory in the near future. Your baby will settle more easily, cry less and life will feel a little like it used to again. Do reach out for professional support if you are finding things hard, there are so many incredibly professionals that will be able to help.
– written by Heidi Skudder (www.positivelyparenthood.com)
