Every year someone at the depot says it. “Extra hour in bed this weekend, lovely.” And I do the little nod. Because I know, and you probably know too, that if you’ve got small kids there’s no extra hour. There’s just an earlier morning.
This year the clocks go back at 2am on Sunday 25 October. That’s about as early in the month as it can fall, so it’s closer than it feels. If your little one wakes at 6 now, the same body clock will have them up at 5 that Sunday. If they’re a 5am kid already… yeah. Sorry.
The first year I got it completely wrong
When Alfie was about 18 months I genuinely thought we’d get a lie in. I’d just come off a run of lates and I’d even said it out loud to Gemma on the Saturday night, which looking back was asking for it.
He was shouting at ten to five. By five past I was sat on the sofa with the telly on mute and a brew going cold next to me, watching a cartoon pig for the third time. Gemma came down about seven, looked at me, and didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to.
I hadn’t done a single thing to prepare. Not one. I’d just assumed it would sort itself out. It did, to be fair. About nine days later.
So now I start early. Not the night before, the week before, give or take.
The idea is dead simple. Kids’ body clocks don’t like being yanked a whole hour in one go, but they’ll put up with being nudged. So from about the Tuesday or Wednesday before, we push everything later by 15 minutes or so every night or two. By the Saturday they’re going down roughly an hour later than normal. Then the clocks go back and that “late” bedtime is suddenly their normal bedtime again. Nobody notices. Well, mostly.
A few things I’ve learned the hard way:
- Move the whole evening, not just lights out. If tea and bath stay where they are and you only shift the last bit, you end up with an overtired kid bouncing off the walls at half seven. Ask me how I know.
- Naps too, if they still have them. Push them a bit later each day.
- Keep the routine itself exactly the same. Same bath, same book, same daft song. The time moves, the routine doesn’t.
- If they’ve got one of those clocks that changes colour in the morning, move that on by ten minutes every couple of days as well.
Will it work perfectly? Probably not. Some kids are just wired to be up with the birds and nothing you read on the internet is going to change that. Ours still had a couple of 5.30s that week. But 5.30 beats 4.40 every time.
Get everyone outside on the Sunday morning
This is the bit I always forget. Light is what sets the body clock, so use it. On the Sunday, get the whole lot of you out of the house, even if it’s grey and drizzly, which in Leeds in late October it will be. Twenty minutes is plenty. We usually walk to the shop for milk we don’t really need, and Rosie stops at every puddle on the way while Alfie tells her to hurry up. Then in the evenings keep things dim. Big light off, lamps on, tablet put away a good while before bed.
And blackout blinds. I know, I know. Everyone says blackout blinds, and if your kid is already up at 4.45 you probably want to throw one at the next person who suggests it. But the mornings do get lighter for a few weeks after the change, and a thin strip of sunrise round the curtain is basically an alarm clock for a two year old. They made a proper difference in Rosie’s room. Just check there are no dangly cords anywhere they can reach.
Look after yourself as well
Whatever you do, there will probably be a few rough mornings. Most families take about a week to settle. I’ve stopped pretending otherwise and just plan for it now.
The biggest thing for me is going to bed earlier myself that weekend. I hate it, because the hour after the kids go down is the only bit of the day that feels like mine. But if I know I’m getting woken at five, an early night is the only lie in on offer.
Talk to your partner before the weekend, not at 4.58am on the Sunday. Who’s up on Sunday? Who’s doing Monday? With my shifts we have to plan it anyway, so we take turns now and it’s saved a few arguments, put it that way.
And if you work shifts like I do, see if you can swap off the earlies that week, or at least not stack them all at the start. I once did a 6am start at the depot on the Monday after the clocks went back, having been up with Alfie since quarter to five the day before. I’m still not totally sure how I got through it.
The dark evenings take some getting used to too. It’ll be dark by teatime and I know plenty of dads who find that properly hard, especially on the drive home from work. But I’ve come round to it a bit. Curtains shut, hot chocolate, a den made out of every cushion in the house. Some of my favourite nights with the kids have been exactly that, more than any big day out if I’m honest.
Anyway. That’s what works in our house, more or less. If you’ve got a trick I haven’t thought of, or you just want to moan to someone else who’ll be up at 5am on the 25th, come and find us in the Dadsnet community. There are loads of dads in there who’ve been through it, and they’re very honest about what didn’t work.
Or if you’ve got five minutes and a brew, have a go at our quiz at https://dadsnet.com/quiz. Best do it before the 25th, mind, while you can still think straight.
Join the Dadsnet crew
Get weekly dad stuff in your inbox, with useful ideas, honest stories and a bit of dad chat from dads who get it.
Join the Dadsnet crew
Weekly dad stuff that actually helps. No spam, just the good bits.
