If you’ve ever found yourself doomscrolling through the news at midnight, muttering “well, that’s us finished then” while your tea goes cold — congratulations, you’re human. These days, it feels like the world’s gone a bit sideways. Climate change, global politics, AI, the price of petrol… there’s a lot going on. But before we all spiral into despair, let’s talk about something that can genuinely help: understanding what you can actually do about it.
The Circles That Keep You Sane *
There’s a simple model that helps make sense of this based on three circles: your circle of control, circle of influence, and circle of concern. Think of them like three rings of a dartboard.
The Circle of Concern
This outer ring is the stuff you can’t really hit, no matter how hard you throw. It’s where all the world’s chaos lives. Wars, elections, the economy, your mate’s dodgy crypto investments — they all sit out here. You can care about them, of course, but you can’t change them. Spending all your mental energy here is like shouting at the rain — it feels dramatic but achieves very little (except maybe making your neighbours keep their distance).
The Circle of Influence
The next one in is your circle of influence. Here’s where you might make a difference if you put in the effort. You can influence your kids, your team at work, your friends’ opinions about pineapple on pizza — that sort of thing. You can’t control people (if you can, please teach us your ways), but you can sometimes nudge them in a better direction.
* From The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
The Circle of Control
Finally, the bullseye — the circle of control. This is where your power lives. It’s your attitude, your choices, your effort, your time. You can’t stop a storm, but you can make sure your umbrella’s in the boot. This is where it pays to focus your available energy, because that’s where real change happens.
Energy Is Like a Phone Battery — Spend It Wisely
We’ve all only got so much energy to go around. Imagine your energy as your phone battery. Spend all day worrying about things you can’t change, and you’re down to 2% by lunchtime. Focus on what you can control, and you’ll keep yourself topped up with maybe even enough juice left to play with the kids instead of collapsing on the sofa muttering about inflation.
Five Dad-Tested Ways to Stop Worrying About the Weather (Literal and Figurative)
- Monitor Your Mindset
Where’s your focus? Are you pouring energy into things you can’t change, or investing it where it counts? Maybe do a “worry audit” for a week — track how much time you spend watching the news/reels versus doing something productive. You might surprise yourself (and not in a good way). - Watch the Weather
Now, don’t ignore the world completely. Keep half an eye on what’s happening — just enough to know whether to grab your metaphorical raincoat. But please don’t stand outside staring at the clouds for hours. - Clarify and Communicate
At work, this one’s gold. When things get chaotic, people start tossing responsibilities around like a hot potato. Be clear about what you can control, what you can influence, and what’s just noise. Having that “clarity” chat with your boss might just save your sanity (and your evenings). - Actions and Decisions, Not Anxiety and Distress
If something’s worrying you — your mortgage, your health, your job — do something about it. Even a small step is progress. Worry without action is like revving your car in neutral — it makes a lot of noise, burns fuel, and gets you absolutely nowhere. - Keep Your Batteries Charged
Exercise, family time, proper rest, decent food, fewer pints on a Tuesday — you know the drill. It’s boringly sensible, but it works. You can’t deal with life if you’re running on fumes.
Final Thoughts
We can’t control the chaos in the world — if we could, we’d have sorted the school run traffic and fixed the broadband by now. But we can control where we put our focus, how we respond, and how we spend our precious energy.
So next time the headlines look bleak, remember your three circles. Look after the bullseye — your circle of control — and let the outer rings spin on without dragging you down. Because, at the end of the day, worrying about the weather won’t stop the rain, but it might stop you enjoying the sunshine when it comes.
Here’s a link to a short, engaging video that takes these ideas further – plus some other videos that may help with handling life’s challenges.
https://www.two-gen.com/#videos
Exclusive offer to Dadsnet subscribers:
Michael and Alan are offering a free, 30-minute one to one coaching session if you are ‘worrying about things out of your control’ or indeed worried about anything!
To secure your session, email [email protected] .
Michael Fryer and Alan Found are vastly experienced management/leadership consultants; to find out more about them and their work, visit www.two-gen.com
