When a baby dies, dads often go straight into ‘protector mode’. You want to fix it, to make it better — but there’s nothing to fix.
The best thing you can do for your partner is to be there, listen, and grieve together.
Here’s how to support your partner while also looking after yourself.
1. Listen, even when it’s hard
She might want to talk about what happened again and again — or not at all.
Be patient. You don’t have to have answers.
Just being there, and letting her speak (or sit in silence), tells her she’s not alone.
2. Say your baby’s name
It can be painful, but it helps.
Many mums say what hurts most is when people stop mentioning their baby.
Saying their name keeps that memory alive — and shows your partner that you loved your baby too.
3. Look out for signs she’s struggling
Loss can bring trauma, anxiety, and depression.
Encourage her to reach out for support from midwives, GPs, or baby loss charities if she needs it.
And remember: you can ask for help too.
4. Take practical pressure off
Handle appointments, meals, or the school run if you can.
Small acts of care can give her space to breathe and grieve.
5. Grieve together, even if it looks different
You might cry; she might not. You might want to talk; she might want quiet.
There’s no right way. The only wrong way is pretending it didn’t happen.
Closing
Supporting your partner through baby loss isn’t about being strong — it’s about being real.
You can’t take her pain away, but you can hold her through it.
And in time, you’ll both learn that love doesn’t end, even when life does.
