If you live in a grammar school area, you know what this fortnight feels like. The tests were sat in September, results are landing in inboxes now, and a lot of ten year olds are pretending they are not bothered while asking for the fourth time when the email comes.
Netmums ran a piece this week with consultant child and educational psychologist Dr Patricia Britto about exactly this. Her main point is simple: the 11 Plus is one exam taken very young, and it should not become the thing a child uses to measure their worth. So here is what dads need to know, what to watch for and what other parents are saying.
What the 11 Plus actually is (and where it still happens)
The 11 Plus is an entrance test used by grammar schools and some other selective schools. Children usually sit it in Year 6, and depending on the area it tests some mix of English, maths, verbal reasoning and non verbal reasoning.
It is a much more local thing than the noise around it suggests. The House of Commons Library counts 163 grammar schools in England, and only 35 local authorities have any at all. Around 60% sit in just 11 council areas, which is why places like Kent and Buckinghamshire talk about little else in October while families a few miles away barely know it exists.
Northern Ireland runs its own transfer tests. This year’s SEAG Entrance Assessment papers are on 14 and 21 November, so those families are still in the revision stage.
When the results come out
Dates vary, so check your council or test consortium rather than the WhatsApp group. For 2027 entry:
- Buckinghamshire: most parents get an email after 4pm on Friday 9 October. A standardised score of 121 or more means a child is qualified to be considered for a grammar place.
- Essex (CSSE schools): results are emailed after close of business on Monday 12 October, and you are asked to allow 24 hours for them to arrive.
- Kent: results go out on Thursday 15 October, by email to the address you registered with, or by first class post if you did not give one. If the letter goes missing, your child’s primary school can give you the scores the day after.
- Northern Ireland (SEAG): outcomes are released online on Saturday 23 January 2027.
Worth knowing: a pass usually means your child can be considered for a grammar school, not that they have a place. Whatever the result, you still apply for secondary schools through your local council before its closing date at the end of October. Offers come out on 1 March 2027.
A score that falls short is not always the end of it either. Buckinghamshire has Selection Review and appeals, and Kent says you can still apply and appeal if refused. Both are on those council pages.
Signs your child is feeling the pressure
Dr Britto’s advice in the Netmums piece is to watch how your child is coping, not just their scores. The signs she lists are fairly ordinary on their own: trouble sleeping, headaches or tummy aches, being tearful or snappy, and constantly asking for reassurance. Questions like "what if I fail?" or "will you be disappointed in me?" are the ones she says to take seriously.
It is not only older kids, either. In April Netmums reported that Childline delivered 1,679 counselling sessions about exam or revision stress between April 2025 and March 2026, and where the age was known, 11% involved children aged 11 and under. Counsellors flagged kids who cannot settle, feel guilty taking a break or keep comparing themselves to classmates.
The NHS guide to exam stress adds changes in appetite, losing interest in things they normally enjoy, and low mood.
What dads can actually do before results day
Talk about effort, not schools. Dr Britto suggests swapping "getting into" a particular school for doing their best and being proud of the work they put in. Kids need to hear that if it does not go their way, they have not let anybody down.
Keep the house normal. Football, friends, a rubbish film on a Friday, whole days where nobody mentions the 11 Plus. If every conversation is about scores, it feels bigger and scarier than it is.
Watch the comparisons. What a friend got, what an older brother or sister got, how many hours someone else is doing. None of it helps an anxious child, and it turns a test into a ranking of who is clever.
Agree how results day will go. Who opens the email, when, and whether your child wants to be there. A plan beats refreshing an inbox at the kitchen table.
And after the email lands
If it is good news, celebrate at home and go easy on the group chat. Other kids in the class got a different email.
If it is not, let them be disappointed. Dr Britto is clear that you do not have to fix it straight away or start picking through where the marks went. Listen, give it time, and make it plain that one result does not tell you how bright they are or what they will go on to do. Appeals and school choices can wait a day or two.
For what it’s worth, I have done the GCSE and A level version of results day with my older two, and the waiting was always worse for me than for them. They were watching my face far more closely than the screen.
What other parents are saying
The Mumsnet 11 Plus support thread for 2026 is an honest picture. One first timer admitted she was far more stressed than her child, who breezily reported not finishing either mock paper. A Bucks parent on her second child said she felt much calmer this time because she knew where the bar was, then added that people should ask her again in October. Another said her daughter had been doing brilliantly but had a dip in confidence and was struggling emotionally, and one parent of twins said the fact that one was finding it easier than the other made the whole thing more stressful.
On Netmums, an older Coffeehouse thread from a mum whose ten year old did not pass is hard reading. Her daughter cried herself to sleep worrying about telling her friends the next day. One reply said their family had told their daughter passing would be great but missing out did not matter if she tried her best, and they had already picked another school she liked as first choice. In another Netmums thread, a Kent mum said her daughter’s school work suffered during the wait because she had convinced herself she had failed. She passed, and the mum said she deliberately did not shout about it, having seen how other parents were feeling.
Where to get support
- Childline is free on 0800 1111 if your child wants to talk to someone who is not you.
- The YoungMinds Parents Helpline is free on 0808 802 5544, 9.30am to 4pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and until 6pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Its parents guide to exam time is worth ten minutes.
- Your child’s school. A teacher who knows them is often the quickest help.
- Your GP, if anxiety or low mood is severe, hangs around after the results, or gets in the way of everyday life.
In my day (I know, I know) you went to the school down the road and that was that. Whatever the email says this month, it is one morning in a very long school life. Good luck to all of you waiting.
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